All Hat & No Cattle » Head Honcho

Weakness On The Ranch

The Boys — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:34:27 +0000

Jim & Chris talk about addressing weaknesses in the organization. Good thing they don’t have any weaknesses themselves. Ahem… Tongue twisters, big sticks, inertia, limited partners: where else can you have this much fun with two guys in suits for free?

Watch for the viewer challenge in the first few minutes and the parting shot at the end. Extra credit if you catch Jim’s self-deprecating joke that zings right past Chris, like a losing volley in a gunfight. Don’t be ignorant and arrogant or, like Chris, you might miss something important as you revel in past glories. Solipsism can sneak up on you, so pay attention and mind the gap!

About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
For the miraculous birth, there always must be
Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
On a pond at the edge of the wood:
They never forgot
That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
In Breughel’s Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.

WH Auden, 1938

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Flying High (Planes Part 2)

The Boys — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 15:12:28 +0000

The boys are delighted to welcome back David Norton to continue the discussion of company planes. As they recline comfortably in the new Hat & Cattle G5, eating bonbons and sipping cocktails, David and the boys chat about the smart way to buy an airplane.

David Norton is Partner and Head of the Aviation Practice at Shackelford Melton & McKinley, a law firm based in Dallas. One of the of the foremost aviation attorneys in the U.S., David is a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy, a former Air Force pilot, and an active private pilot. He serves in a leadership role in various industry organizations, including as Chair of the Aviation Section of the State Bar of Texas and Chair of the National Business Aviation Association’s Domestic Operations Committee. Find out more about David and his firm here and at shacklaw.net. Thanks, David!

And as an aside, Jim’s broker keeps telling him that he’ll rival Gates, Buffet and Slim at the top of the Forbes list when pigs fly. Tune in to find out the real source of Jim’s interest in private jet travel. And watch until the end for the Parting Shot!

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So You Want An Airplane

The Boys — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:10:10 +0000

Cattle car or G5? In search of an answer, the boys ride their trusty steeds into a discussion of time machines and jet planes as they contemplate the purchase of a private jet to augment their fleet of quarter horses. “When pigs fly!” you might say, but who would’ve thought they could rope another guest into joining them on the show.

As for Lefty, our one-eyed cameraman, the boys have had a talk with him, and he has promised to try to keep everyone in the middle of the trail in the future.

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Good Ranching

The Boys — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 18:33:41 +0000

It’s like watching paint slowly disintegrate on cars in the parking lot. Naw, it’s not that bad, and it is good for you.

Responsibility is a big word for simple cowboys, but that’s what it’s about. When you play with a stick horse (like our guest, Pinto, from another program), you can act like a six-year old. Indeed everyone expects it. When you play with real horses, though, it’s time to act like a big boy. And that means thinking ahead, reviewing the impact of your actions on others, and taking responsibility. Id is not it.

Join the boys as they exercise their superegos to exorcise corporate demons and wrestle free market wraiths. If the boys can keep their bucking ids saddled and their outsized egos harnessed, well, any fool’s gotta be able to do it. Hat & Cattle superegos to the rescue! Oops, was that a Freudian slip or just some loose linguistic gravel?

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Young Buckaroos

The Boys — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:22:07 +0000

Little Buckaroos can have fun too! In this second part of their series on age, our heroes stop by the river of life with hopes of stirring up some golden nuggets of wisdom. You always knew they were just a couple of panhandlers…

The first part of the series was on “Wise Warriors”, but this time the boys turn their steely gazes upon “Young Bucks”: those plucky, but naïve cowpokes who always show up at the beginning of a cattle drive. Are you a young buck? Were you? Do you have to manage one? Have you played a practical joke on one? (The boys suggest surreptitiously loosening a saddle or innovative applications of hot chile peppers.) More tips are in store; so, settle in with the boys next to the roaring campfire.

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Wise Warriors

The Boys — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:49:29 +0000

The boys dim the lights and get up close and personal to discuss issues of chronology. Young at heart? Wise beyond your years?

In this, the first of a two-part series, Jim and Chris discuss the enlightenment of age. As Sir Francis Bacon said, “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”

So, wise warrior, get off your high horse and join us to ponder questions of experience. You may question the experience afterward, but at least your horse will have been enlightened…

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Difficult Mules

The Boys — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 15:54:09 +0000

Join the boys in welcoming a guest to the show. Together they’ll discuss the ins and outs of dealing with a difficult mule on the ranch. Spoiler alert: putting heavy chains around the neck of a problematic employee doesn’t always get you the results you want!

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Foreign Direct Investment

The Boys — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:57:05 +0000

Chris struggles to get going in today’s episode. Like the surging tidal wave of cross-border investment, however (and with Jim’s helpful gravitational pull), the boys eventually get into an interesting conversation about how to put your hard-earned money in the hands of ferners.

What’s a “ferner” you say? Well, in these parts it just means somebody who’s not from Texas. For everyone else, it just means.. Well, let’s just turn to the 17th century French philosopher and mathematician, Blaise Pascal (Pensées 294):

“Three degrees of latitude reverse all jurisprudence; a meridian decides the truth. Fundamental laws change after a few years of possession; right has its epochs; the entry of Saturn into the Lion marks to us the origin of such and such a crime. A strange justice that is bounded by a river! Truth on this side of the Pyrenees, error on the other side.”

Ya’ ain’t in Kansas anymore, buckaroos, that’s for sure! (No offense to the Kantians in the crowd)

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Subject Matter Expertise

The Boys — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:10:25 +0000

The boys are experts on all subjects and masters of all they survey. Well, not really. They are pretty good at tossing around the cow-patties though (that means spouting out the bull**** for those city slickers in the crowd). Learn how to be a subject matter expert, or just watch them step into the … Ewwwww!

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Ethics, Part II

The Boys — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:13:06 +0000

Ethics, schmethics. The boys talk about airplanes, golf clubs and dishonest negotiation tactics in this second installment on how to game the system.

Okay, not really. That was dishonest. We’re sorry. Maybe we need to watch this episode again. Will you watch it with us?

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